DiStUrBeD_sOiL's Xanga

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 00:22:08 GMT

Apparently people think I'm trying to be a different person online. Even though it's not true, I'm quitting xanga.

Fuck it.

Goodbye.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:25:38 GMT

So comments sucked on the last entry. I won't update after this entry if I get crappy comments again. Yes. I'm a stubborn bitch. Deal. :)

So.

I found out that there's a pretty good chance that I'll be moving. It's not 100% decided yet, but my parents don't feel like replacing the siding on our house (costing them $70,000), and my dad apparently needs an office, so we might move one block over to a bigger house. Problem is, we'd have to sell our lakehouse, regular house, and boat to pay for it. Sounds ridiculous if you ask me. My room would be smaller (though I'd have my own bathroom...pffft.), and I don't want to pack up my shit and move one block over to the neighborhood next to mine. However. I do already know how I want to decorate my new room if we move. With posters of old magazine covers from the 1920s and 1930s, such as these:

The beautiful Clara Bow, June 1927. I love her.

Constance Bennett, March 1939. Sorry it's so small, photobucket fucked it up.

Myrna Loy, August 1935.

Like those. I'd love to find one of Rudolph Valentino (seen below)

On the left. Duh. But I can't find a magazine cover like the above ones with him on it. Grr. Did you know that when he died of some illness, a girl in Paris killed herself by poisoning herself and slitting her wrists, and then dying on top of a pile of his pictures? Yes. He was quite the charmer in the roaring 20s. haha.

Other news? Uh. OH. I'm going to the midnight premiere of the 4th Harry Potter movie at the IMAX on Thursday. Megan and Steven will be going, too, but you all can't go, because it's already sold out. Sucka.

Also, please stop asking me about Ryan. We are not dating. His choice, not mine, but please. Quit asking me about him. If something happens, I'll tell you (though it seems like it won't). Just stoppppp.

I have five tests this week. So I must go study for some of them. Damn teachers, I hate them all. And, I changed the layout on my myspace (http://www.myspace.com/thelittlefetus ) so check it out, I spent forever on it.

andimahugenerdohhhkayyeah.

Comment please. I won't update until I'm satisfied, and beleive me, I can wait awhile. Not that you care, anyhow.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 04:52:38 GMT

Hmm. Things haven't been as fantastic as they were a few weeks ago. I'm just mainly confused about some things, and feeling discouraged. But I'm not here to rant and rave about my disappointments. Not now, anyway.

I figure I'll do an intellectual kind of post. Are you ready?

Recently my parents have been pressuring me to decide what I want to study in college, and where I want to go. My mother has brought me to informational meetings about getting started, and even to an extremely large college fair two or so weeks ago at Shawnee Mission East. She's even going so far with this that she is planning to take me to visit college campuses in February.

I've decided I most likely want to study creative writing. My original decision, journalism, isn't an option anymore, because I have realized that I despise the news. I don't want to write about "someone got murdered", "a woman was raped", "a baby was found in a dumpster", "someone killed", "someone killed", "oh guess what, a craft's fair!", "someone stabbed", etc. I'm sure you get my point. So I've basically decided my major (for now, it could change), but I slightly don't want to go to college. Not as in don't want to go at all, as in, I'm kind of not looking forward to it as much as I should be.

Why, might you ask? Because of what I've got here. It may not be much, but it means a lot to me. Particularly being able to have a best friend such as Megan, where we think of things at the same time, laugh for no reason, have the same twisted sense of humor, and never get sick of eachother. I don't know how we became best friends, I suppose sometime during sixth grade we just...clicked, and remained so ever since. But I'm afraid that once I leave and go to college, I won't find another person I can click with in this way. I don't want to live in a world of awkward friendships and acquaintances. I need the security of having my other half. And I don't know what I'll do when I'm separated from it.

Other friendships and people I've got here I also won't want to leave. There are certain people I can open up to that I can't with others, and certain people I can just be stupid and laugh with. I need that. I need all of it. And even though I'm 16 and college isn't for another two years, I still can't stop thinking about it. Because my mom is already preparing me for it.

Old(er) Pictures of Megan and I in chronological order (oldest (7th grade) to relatively new (a few months ago))

Because these are the times I don't want to forget.

There's a lot more, but I'm too lazy to add them now.

Please comment! You've all been doing quite well on the amount of comments I'm getting lately, and I must say, it makes me quite happy! So comment and tell me what you think of my attempt at an intellectual post. :)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 20:07:43 GMT

*EDIT #2*

It's been 777 days since I joined Xanga. How cute.

*END EDIT*

My body is completely and totally covered in bruises and aches. I can barely move, and the upper part of my spine is so bruised that if I lean back against a surface while sitting, I can barely manage it. But that's all because I saw The Bled last night for the third time, and it was amazing. It wasn't as good as the other two times I've seen them perform, but they did play "Red Wedding", so everything was good. Veda was good, too (I love her voice), and Underoath (although I don't listen to them much) had spectacular stage presence and light show. I didn't stay for Thrice, because Thrice basically blows. People are fucking stupid though, since we were approximately 2nd row for The Bled, they were pushing like no other and I spent half the show literally elbowing and hitting people to fight them off. I'm vicious. Sluts. Good show though.

I might be going to Slipknot, As I Lay Dying, Unearth and some other random bands for The Freaker's Ball on Saturday. Maybe. It's undecided.

I also spent about $80 in Westport on Friday. I bought a purse, a skirt, a winter knitted hat thing for romping in the snow, and some "Mary Jane" shoes in A Beautiful Day (which is a 60s kind of shop...all of those items I bought there smell like incense), a used copy of "Big Electric Metal Bass Face" by Die Warzau (an extremely rare find, so I was happy), some huge and heavy shell earrings, and a T-shirt with a TV in a trashcan on it. I am proud of my purchases.

*EDIT*

I decided to take a little portion of this entry out. It was making me a wee bit uncomfortable. hahaha. :D

*END EDIT*

It's been a GREAT weekend!

PS. I love fall.

Comment please. The amount of comments on the previous entry delighted me and made me very happy, so do it again!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 22:18:25 GMT

Wowowow. Last night was amazing. I went to work in kind of a down mood, knowing that most of my friends were busy getting ready for Homecoming while I'd be stuck at work the whole night. Secretly, I really wanted to go. Anyhow, Audrey (a host I work with) seemed determined to make me go to the dance, which I didn't object to, really. She switched shifts with me so that I could be volume and she long, and also made me go into the bathroom to call Ryan to ask him to go with me. Which I did. Then, Hunter (manager working that night) let me go at 7:30 while the restaurant was packed to get ready! Ahhh Audrey and Hunter, I love you both. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gone.

So yeah. Ryan and I went to Winstead's for dinner, where we ran into Laura and Alex. The dance was uneventful; I saw my sister and everyone (you all looked gorgeous!). At about 9:45, Ryan and I left to go see Corpse Bride, which was actually really good, and then back to my house to hang out when it was over. The entire night was perfect, I was a very happy girl by the end of it. And it stormed off and on that night! Wee! So thank you Audrey and Hunter for helping me go to the dance, and thank you Ryan for going with me. :)

Ryan and I before the dance (courtesy of my parents, yes.):

Yeah, I wore the exact same thing as last year. haha.

Comment please. I'm lacking comments these days. :(

Monday, September 26, 2005

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 02:50:34 GMT

If you would like to see my prom dress (yes, prom is in April and yes, I already have it, shut up) IM me (plastic stars321) and I will gladly show you pictures! I'm in love with it.

*EDIT*

Also if you would like to see my Halloween costume, there is a picture on my myspace and I have others as well.

*END EDIT*

Excuse the swing music. It's my current obsession.

This weekend has been awesome. Friday night I hung out with Anna, Amber and Megan. We had tons of fun. Amber and I had a hardcore fooseball tournament, we all did Kareoke, and then when we snuck over to my empty house, it only got more fun. Anna ended up tipping over multiple times/crashing into the bushes on my grandmother's scooter, and there was just some major fun with that. Oh man, oh man, Friday night was amazing for many reasons. Then Saturday I found a dress that my mom is buying me, and I'm saving it for prom. I'll take pictures of it when I get it, oh yes I will.

I think it's decided I'm being a Catholic schoolgirl for Halloween. The only problem is, it's extremely...sluttish. The top ties across my boobs and it's basically a stomach top, which kind of bothers me. Oh well, who cares, I love Halloween.

Today was just...gah. Wonderful. Enough said there.

Pictures:

Amber looking very serious with her 88 cent plastic flute that she just had to buy in Walmart. Ask her to play Titanic or the help call on it and I'm sure she'll gladly oblige.

Amber dancing during Kareoke

Ohhh I love Anna.

Amber and her beloved flute.

KAREOKE!

Walking over to my vacant house at midnight or so.

lmao Amber crashed the scooter trying to park it.

And thennnn one not from Friday of Cody being a nerd.

He just might kill me for putting that up there. Haaaa.

Comment me please! I love when you do!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 21:28:43 GMT

Time for an update? I think so.

One word to describe junior year so far: tired. I have been falling asleep in every single one of my classes all day long every day, and I can't help it. Between school, homework and work, I'm worn out. Which is probably why my eye has been twitching for two and a half weeks. Fatigued much? Ew. :(

Speaking of work though, guess who's loaded?

Mmmkay, that would be me. That's $161, and none of that is from my paycheck. It's all tips, fools. I love my job sometimes.

The Bled was on Fuse the other night on Steven's Untitled Rock Show. I watched it, and they played the new video for "My Assassin". It was kind of weird, they were in like a red tent or something...and James had a beard type deal like he did at Warped this summer when I met them. Yeah.

Want to read my microfiction for writer's workshop? If not, skip the box. If so, read the box. Simple enough, yes?

The harsh winter wind bites at the faces of hurrying passersby on a crowded sidewalk downtown. An old man stands at the busy street corner, seemingly immune to the bitter cold that chases the families and businessmen bustling by. His old winter coat is tattered and worn, as are his outdated corduroy pants and thin fingerless gloves. He carries with him his prized and only possession, which he carefully removes from its fragile case. Slinging the guitar over his shoulder, his calloused and experienced fingers find their way to the strings to strum the opening notes to Led Zepplin's "Stairway To Heaven." As his aged voice softly joins his guitar, the scurrying crowd surrounding the old man on the sidewalk hastily drop coins and dollar bills into his open guitar case, and some stop to listen momentarily before continuing on their way.

The song ends, and the old man strikes up a jazzy tune that he himself had written years before. A mother and her two young daughters waiting at the bus stop a few feet down the sidewalk slowly make their way towards him to better hear the bouncy, upbeat tune that the old man's feet are tapping along to. The mother listens thoughtfully before placing a whole ten dollar bill in the change littered case. The old man looks up and glances at the woman's generosity, happiness welling inside of him. His joy is not caused by the fact that her donation would buy his first decent meal in days, but the sight that lay before him. The two daughters dancing with one another, carefree, innocent, happy. And, upon seeing this, the old man's tired face smiles.

Yay. Tell me what you think. Just cause' I like feedback.

I have a new layout on myspace. It's pretty interesting, go check it out.

Uhmm. This boy. Makes me so happy. And at the same time, makes me so sad. Happy when I'm with him, sad when he says the things he does without realizing their effects. Or maybe he does realize. I don't know. I'm so confused. All boys suck.

Comment, please. Even if you didn't read this Goddamn entry, comment to let me know you were here. Pleaseeeeeeee? :)

Friday, September 02, 2005

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 01:32:04 GMT

Sooo, why do I have all these premium features all of a sudden? Odd.

Anyhow. I'm sick. I've got a runny nose and a sore throat, and I'm slightly feverish, but it's nothing too bad. It won't keep me out of school (ignoring the fact that I refuse to miss much school anyhow. I've only missed 1 day in high school so far. That was the day I threw up 3 times in the bathroom sophomore year and then barely made it to the nurse; I nearly passed out in the halls several times on the trip down hahaaa.) And I just sneezed six times in a row.

October 15. The Bled. Underoath. And Thrice. Ew to Thrice, I do not like them, and Underoath...eh, they're okay, but The Bled! Holy shittttt I am so going for my third time to see them. Who's with me? :)

So. Meteorology. I really enjoy that class, and all we're learning about is the atmosphere. Am I so nerdy that I get excited to go to sixth hour every day to learn about the atmosphere? Yes. I think so.

I aced my East Asia Studies test today. And I mean aced. 100%, bitches. And I hardly studied. Mr. Davis said his tests were hard...psh. If that was hard, I'm homefree for the semester! I like this.

This weekend should be excellent if all goes as planned. And we have Monday off! Pshaw! :D

Today my mother brought these sunglasses home that were purple stars, and they were exactly like the ones I used to wear when I was three, except those were red. So I couldn't resist being nerdy with Marissa and wearing them all over the house. Ch-ch-check it out:

I feel like such a little girl in them, I love it.

End. Please comment, they'll make me get well faster! LEAVE ME COMMENTS OF HEALING LOVE! hahaha. :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 18:06:21 GMT

Oh my gosh. If I thought Saturday night was bad (as far as work goes), it was easy compared to last night. So, I picked up Brittney Anderson's 4:00 to volume (which is usually around 8:00 or 8:30) shift because she doesn't work at Applebee's anymore. Julia was supposed to come in at 5:30 to close, but she never showed up, so I was the only host that night. We got twice as busy as we do on Friday nights (when we have 4 hosts staffed to keep up with things, mind you, and there was only the one ((me)) for last night), and I had to seat, bus, and run food all by myself. I was literally running from table to table and rushing into the back with armloads of dishes and glasses to put them in the back before running back out to seat more people and keep up with the wait list...my God, I was sweating and felt dizzy...I bet I burned a lot of calories. And then a huge tower of approximately 9 or 10 glasses (this was on 24, one of the huge booths) fell over and the top three shattered, so I had to clean that up and pick glass shards out of my hands. Woo. Party. And sicne Julia wasn't there, I had to close. It was so busy that each waiter made at least $500 in sales, meaning I probably made well over $60 in tips, but still. The one funny moment of the night was when I spilled water down my pants and Micah would not stop making fun of me for it.

Good news, my shirts I made are complete! I took a bunch of pictures of them so you can see. My favorite is the Chicks On Speed shirt, here it is:

Yeah, neon/sparkly stars all over, bitches!

I am in love with this shirt.

The back of the shirt. "Euro Trash Girl" is a song, pshaw.

And now for my Avenue D shirt. You can't really read the font it's written in too well, though, but oh well, who cares!

(It says Avenue D and then below it it says for president. The for president part is from the song "Bang!")

The heart within a heart within a heart on the shirt. The middle of the pink heart glows in the dark ;)

The back. I would have put a song name on it like Chicks on Speed, but none of them are exactly...shirt appropriate. It would be interesting to have "Backseat Bushwack", "Orgasmatron", "Stick It In" or "Don't Get Too Drunk To Fuck"...(I think you get the point), but I can't. I was tempted to put "Do I Look Like A Slut?" on the back, but then I thought, what if I get bad responses to that? haha.

Okay, I tried to make a Freezepop shirt, but I screwed it up majorly. I ironed on the E's upside down and the rest of the letters just didn't go on right. So I just went nuts and put glow in the dark stars and hearts all over it for kicks, since it's now a sleep shirt.

See? Screw up shirt. haha.

The next shirt is an inside joke. Enough said.

Yay. What do you think?

Leave me a comment please! These past few days haven't been the best.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 05:41:06 GMT

Warning: This is a rant entry.

Tonight was the shittiest, longest night of all eternity. At work, I was stuck bussing the whole time because Audrey, though I love her, refuses to bus even if she's volume, which she was, while I was long, which makes no sense. She should have been bussing, not me, but whatever. I spilled drinks four times, and drenched myself all down my side from carrying too many glasses in one arm three times. I was literally wringing Pepsi and water and whatever else was spilled on me out of my shirt and pants, and when I got home, my bra and underwear were both soaked, that's how bad it was. Jenny (my general manager) kept telling me I was a madwoman and asked me if I was okay twice, I guess I looked worn out. My feet hurt, I'm exhausted, I've got random bruises all over my legs and I don't know why, I'm losing weight, and I feel insignificant, worthless and unwanted.

I just really need a hug and a good night's sleep, though the only person I really want a hug from, I'm unsure if they even want to talk to me at all. Fuck. I feel like I'm about to throw up.