Apparently people think I'm trying to be a different person online. Even though it's not true, I'm quitting xanga.

Fuck it.

Goodbye.

Currently Listening Dynomite By Ima Robot see related

So comments sucked on the last entry. I won't update after this entry if I get crappy comments again. Yes. I'm a stubborn bitch. Deal. :)

So.

I found out that there's a pretty good chance that I'll be moving. It's not 100% decided yet, but my parents don't feel like replacing the siding on our house (costing them $70,000), and my dad apparently needs an office, so we might move one block over to a bigger house. Problem is, we'd have to sell our lakehouse, regular house, and boat to pay for it. Sounds ridiculous if you ask me. My room would be smaller (though I'd have my own bathroom...pffft.), and I don't want to pack up my shit and move one block over to the neighborhood next to mine. However. I do already know how I want to decorate my new room if we move. With posters of old magazine covers from the 1920s and 1930s, such as these:

The beautiful Clara Bow, June 1927. I love her.

Constance Bennett, March 1939. Sorry it's so small, photobucket fucked it up.

Myrna Loy, August 1935.

Like those. I'd love to find one of Rudolph Valentino (seen below)

On the left. Duh. But I can't find a magazine cover like the above ones with him on it. Grr. Did you know that when he died of some illness, a girl in Paris killed herself by poisoning herself and slitting her wrists, and then dying on top of a pile of his pictures? Yes. He was quite the charmer in the roaring 20s. haha.

Other news? Uh. OH. I'm going to the midnight premiere of the 4th Harry Potter movie at the IMAX on Thursday. Megan and Steven will be going, too, but you all can't go, because it's already sold out. Sucka.

Also, please stop asking me about Ryan. We are not dating. His choice, not mine, but please. Quit asking me about him. If something happens, I'll tell you (though it seems like it won't). Just stoppppp.

I have five tests this week. So I must go study for some of them. Damn teachers, I hate them all. And, I changed the layout on my myspace (http://www.myspace.com/thelittlefetus ) so check it out, I spent forever on it.

andimahugenerdohhhkayyeah.

Comment please. I won't update until I'm satisfied, and beleive me, I can wait awhile. Not that you care, anyhow.

Currently Listening If the Flames Dont Kill Us By A Jealousy Issue "Burning Butterflies" see related

Hmm. Things haven't been as fantastic as they were a few weeks ago. I'm just mainly confused about some things, and feeling discouraged. But I'm not here to rant and rave about my disappointments. Not now, anyway.

I figure I'll do an intellectual kind of post. Are you ready?

Recently my parents have been pressuring me to decide what I want to study in college, and where I want to go. My mother has brought me to informational meetings about getting started, and even to an extremely large college fair two or so weeks ago at Shawnee Mission East. She's even going so far with this that she is planning to take me to visit college campuses in February.

I've decided I most likely want to study creative writing. My original decision, journalism, isn't an option anymore, because I have realized that I despise the news. I don't want to write about "someone got murdered", "a woman was raped", "a baby was found in a dumpster", "someone killed", "someone killed", "oh guess what, a craft's fair!", "someone stabbed", etc. I'm sure you get my point. So I've basically decided my major (for now, it could change), but I slightly don't want to go to college. Not as in don't want to go at all, as in, I'm kind of not looking forward to it as much as I should be.

Why, might you ask? Because of what I've got here. It may not be much, but it means a lot to me. Particularly being able to have a best friend such as Megan, where we think of things at the same time, laugh for no reason, have the same twisted sense of humor, and never get sick of eachother. I don't know how we became best friends, I suppose sometime during sixth grade we just...clicked, and remained so ever since. But I'm afraid that once I leave and go to college, I won't find another person I can click with in this way. I don't want to live in a world of awkward friendships and acquaintances. I need the security of having my other half. And I don't know what I'll do when I'm separated from it.

Other friendships and people I've got here I also won't want to leave. There are certain people I can open up to that I can't with others, and certain people I can just be stupid and laugh with. I need that. I need all of it. And even though I'm 16 and college isn't for another two years, I still can't stop thinking about it. Because my mom is already preparing me for it.

Old(er) Pictures of Megan and I in chronological order (oldest (7th grade) to relatively new (a few months ago))

Because these are the times I don't want to forget.

There's a lot more, but I'm too lazy to add them now.

Please comment! You've all been doing quite well on the amount of comments I'm getting lately, and I must say, it makes me quite happy! So comment and tell me what you think of my attempt at an intellectual post. :)

Currently Listening The Weight of an Empty Room By Veda "Song For A Friend" see related

*EDIT #2*

It's been 777 days since I joined Xanga. How cute.

*END EDIT*

My body is completely and totally covered in bruises and aches. I can barely move, and the upper part of my spine is so bruised that if I lean back against a surface while sitting, I can barely manage it. But that's all because I saw The Bled last night for the third time, and it was amazing. It wasn't as good as the other two times I've seen them perform, but they did play "Red Wedding", so everything was good. Veda was good, too (I love her voice), and Underoath (although I don't listen to them much) had spectacular stage presence and light show. I didn't stay for Thrice, because Thrice basically blows. People are fucking stupid though, since we were approximately 2nd row for The Bled, they were pushing like no other and I spent half the show literally elbowing and hitting people to fight them off. I'm vicious. Sluts. Good show though.

I might be going to Slipknot, As I Lay Dying, Unearth and some other random bands for The Freaker's Ball on Saturday. Maybe. It's undecided.

I also spent about $80 in Westport on Friday. I bought a purse, a skirt, a winter knitted hat thing for romping in the snow, and some "Mary Jane" shoes in A Beautiful Day (which is a 60s kind of shop...all of those items I bought there smell like incense), a used copy of "Big Electric Metal Bass Face" by Die Warzau (an extremely rare find, so I was happy), some huge and heavy shell earrings, and a T-shirt with a TV in a trashcan on it. I am proud of my purchases.

*EDIT*

I decided to take a little portion of this entry out. It was making me a wee bit uncomfortable. hahaha. :D

*END EDIT*

It's been a GREAT weekend!

PS. I love fall.

Comment please. The amount of comments on the previous entry delighted me and made me very happy, so do it again!

Currently Listening Pass the Flask By The Bled "Ruth Buzzi Better Watch Her Back" see related

Wowowow. Last night was amazing. I went to work in kind of a down mood, knowing that most of my friends were busy getting ready for Homecoming while I'd be stuck at work the whole night. Secretly, I really wanted to go. Anyhow, Audrey (a host I work with) seemed determined to make me go to the dance, which I didn't object to, really. She switched shifts with me so that I could be volume and she long, and also made me go into the bathroom to call Ryan to ask him to go with me. Which I did. Then, Hunter (manager working that night) let me go at 7:30 while the restaurant was packed to get ready! Ahhh Audrey and Hunter, I love you both. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gone.

So yeah. Ryan and I went to Winstead's for dinner, where we ran into Laura and Alex. The dance was uneventful; I saw my sister and everyone (you all looked gorgeous!). At about 9:45, Ryan and I left to go see Corpse Bride, which was actually really good, and then back to my house to hang out when it was over. The entire night was perfect, I was a very happy girl by the end of it. And it stormed off and on that night! Wee! So thank you Audrey and Hunter for helping me go to the dance, and thank you Ryan for going with me. :)

Ryan and I before the dance (courtesy of my parents, yes.):

Yeah, I wore the exact same thing as last year. haha.

Comment please. I'm lacking comments these days. :(